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Big Sad Voodoo Daddy

1 Jun astrology, horoscopes, bullshit, toddlers, parenting, superstition, dads, moms, fatherhood, children, family, lifestyle

I don’t consider myself the superstitious type. I occasionally knock some wood and usually try to say “rabbit rabbit” at the start of every month, but that’s about it.

Of course, that was before I became a dad.

These days I might as well be Shirley Maclaine for all the bullshit I find myself believing. There’s just NO WAY a filthy anarchist monkey like Curious George gets invited to that many parties, but I just keep playing along.

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Last Minute Mother’s Day Gift: Storypanda Books

11 May

I’ve never done this before.

I’ve never used my blog to promote a product. There just aren’t a lot of kids’ products I’m comfortable plugging.

But I got an opportunity to explore Storypanda’s interactive children’s stories for the iPad (soon to be offered for Android devices), and as someone who is sick to death of reading “Llama Llama Red Pajama” to my kid, I’m going to make an exception, just in time for Mother’s Day!

Translation: I dropped the ball on my present and this is an easy fix.

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Scrimping and Caving

29 Apr

A few weeks back, after abandoning potty training due to the onset of trauma, Mom and Buried and I took a quick run to Target.

While there, we decided to buy some off-brand diapers to get us through the next few weeks, enough time for Detective Munch to emerge from his PTSD (Potty Traumatic Stress Disorder) and get back on the potty train.

The cheapo diapers turned out to not be the best idea, as they were cheapo for a reason: they leaked worse than Julian Assange.

Which got me thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t shortchange my son.

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Toy Story

25 Mar horror, movies, toys, chucky, jon gruden, child's play, toddlers, children, family, parenting, dads, movies, toys

There are a lot of children’s stories about toys that yearn to become real. There’s the classic Disney flick Pinocchio, the melancholy children’s book “The Velveteen Rabbit” and the heartwarming and erotic Mannequin, starring silver-screen legend Andrew McCarthy.

These stories are all aimed at children, though some seem more appropriate for really, really dumb children (Mannequin). And there are plenty more in this vein. Oddly, there aren’t many toy-based stories for adults (unless you count porn).

But the lack of such stories for grown-ups makes sense. As a parent, it’s not often that I wish one of my son’s toys would become real, though it would be fun to pummel the life out of a flesh-and-blood Elmo.

On the other hand, I do occasionally wish my son would become a toy. At least there’d be less shit to clean up.

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The Perfect is the Enemy of the Ish

14 Jan

I can’t draw. I’ve never been able to. But, one day back in elementary school, I got lucky. I drew a horse, and it actually looked like a horse! It was glorious.

But the tail wasn’t quite right. So I erased that part and tried again. But that one small revision screwed up the horse’s hind legs. So I erased them and re-drew that part too. This time the entire back half of the horse was smudged so I was forced to continue with what soon became an entire overhaul of my once beautiful steed.

By the time I was done fixing its tail, my horse – to this day the only good drawing I recall producing in my ENTIRE life – was destroyed.

I wish I’d read Ish before I drew that horse.

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CES-capades: Number Part 2

10 Jan

Yesterday, I mentioned the trend towards combining technology with hands-on, physical components. Lenovo is using the term “phygital” to refer to their new tabletop tablet computer (see yesterday’s post for more info on the Horizon), and I ran into a handful of other products that aim to do the same thing with smart phones and tablets.

The one making the biggest – ahem – splash? The iPotty.

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CES-capades: Part 1

8 Jan

Losing my Vegas virginity and my CES virginity on the same trip may not have been the best idea. There is a lot to take in.

Everything is just…big. Any by “everything” I mean the Strip, the conference itself, the casinos, the hotels, the crowds…the only thing that’s not big is the dividing line between the glamour of this town, artificial as it is, and the grunge that lies beneath, between and behind it. That line is razor-thin, as the walk from my hotel to the convention center made abundantly clear: from high-priced strip clubs to low-rent strip malls. But everything else? Big.

Of course, thanks to CES, that “everything” also includes the latest and greatest in technology, and I’ve seen a bunch of it.

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