Tag Archives: animals

Me Toddler. You Jane.

31 May Simpsons, toddler leash, toddlers, leash, parenting, kids, fatherhood, discipline, behavior, family, home, TV

Children don’t understand decorum.

They don’t know that society has rules. That society demands you behave in a certain way in certain places. It’s called being civilized.

Children are not civilized. My two-year-old might as well be a rabid animal most of the time.

Getting him to behave the way one is supposed to behave is impossible.

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Fear By Proxy

11 Apr

When I was a kid, my biggest fear was being kidnapped. I mean, who wouldn’t want this little heartthrob cooling up their house?

jean jacket, yearbook, junior high, parenting, toddlers, cool, 80s, 1980s, mike julianelle

As I grew up and that terrifying two-part episode of Diff’rent Strokes faded from my memory, the whole kidnapping fear evaporated. Other anxieties emerged and receded through the years until I became quite fearless… provided I’d had ten beers and you agreed to no punches to the face or groin.

Then I had a kid. And I became fearmore.

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Must Love Tolerate Dogs

25 Sep

When my wife and I moved in together, one of the first things we did was get a cat. The next 500 things we did were have arguments about what we would name the cat.

The cat and I were best buds. The cat and my wife were frenemies. The cat and the world-at-large were chilly aquaintances. The cat and my son? Unfortunately they never had a chance to get to know each other.

Now that he’s getting a little older, that’s something I want to correct.

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Stupid Baby Tricks

21 Aug

I’ve been going on and on lately about the tricks I’ve been teaching my son. You’re probably sick of hearing about it, I know. But…

Today I’ve got some video proof!

Check out his animal impressions, including a little not-exactly-an-animal cheat at the end…

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My (Son’s) Life as a Dog

2 Aug

Can someone please tell me the difference between a dog and a two-year-old?

This is a serious question.

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