Children don’t understand decorum.
They don’t know that society has rules. That society demands you behave in a certain way in certain places. It’s called being civilized.
Children are not civilized. My two-year-old might as well be a rabid animal most of the time.
Getting him to behave the way one is supposed to behave is impossible.
When I was a kid, my biggest fear was being kidnapped. I mean, who wouldn’t want this little heartthrob cooling up their house?
As I grew up and that terrifying two-part episode of Diff’rent Strokes faded from my memory, the whole kidnapping fear evaporated. Other anxieties emerged and receded through the years until I became quite fearless… provided I’d had ten beers and you agreed to no punches to the face or groin.
Then I had a kid. And I became fearmore.
When my wife and I moved in together, one of the first things we did was get a cat. The next 500 things we did were have arguments about what we would name the cat.
The cat and I were best buds. The cat and my wife were frenemies. The cat and the world-at-large were chilly aquaintances. The cat and my son? Unfortunately they never had a chance to get to know each other.
Now that he’s getting a little older, that’s something I want to correct.
I’ve been going on and on lately about the tricks I’ve been teaching my son. You’re probably sick of hearing about it, I know. But…
Today I’ve got some video proof!
Check out his animal impressions, including a little not-exactly-an-animal cheat at the end…
Can someone please tell me the difference between a dog and a two-year-old?
This is a serious question.