Tag Archives: culture

Zombie Post: From the Mouths of (Those Without) Babes

3 May zombie, walking dead, resurrection, monsters, horror, kids, parenting, funny, dads

Yesterday, I wrote about the idiotic gulf that exists between people who have kids and people who don’t. There’s no reason we parents can’t get along with the childless; if I didn’t have childless friends, I’d never be able to escape my own kid!

But a year ago, I discussed the one thing in particular that some childless people do that is quite annoying for parents, and that’s when they offer suggestions on how to raise your kids. So for this week’s Zombie Post entry, I’ve resurrected that post (see link below).

It takes two to tango. If I didn’t have a son, I wouldn’t be on the receiving end of such unwanted advice. And if I had good taste in friends, I would have ditched the kind of person who offers unsolicited advice on topics they know nothing about long before I even had a kid. It’s not the not-having-kids that makes someone obnoxious, or the having-of-kids that makes someone bearable; to paraphrase Jay-Z: they were who they were before they got here.

And as much as I love my childless friends, and respect and even sometimes envy the child-free’s choice to not have kids, taking their parenting advice is where I draw the line. Not totally sure why someone who decided against having children would even want to get involved in raising any, but hey, to paraphrase Walt Whitman: we contain multitudes.

Original Post: Immaculate Suggestions: Taking Parenting Advice from the Childless


Blowing Off the Joneses

21 Feb

My kid just got accepted to what I suppose could be considered a slightly exclusive preschool. I mean, they sent an acceptance letter.

Upon receiving said letter, I sent an all-caps, multi-exclamation mark text message to Mom and Buried, announcing that WE’D DONE IT!!!

She wrote back immediately to say she found my enthusiasm off-putting, and was relieved when I told her I was being sarcastic. To which she replied, “I love our parenting style!”

Which wasn’t sarcasm. Is that a problem?

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Eye of the Toddler: Using Your Kids to Stay in Shape

28 Jan Rocky Balboa, Rocky, Drago, Rocky IV, Rambo, Russia, Siberia, Apollo Creed, boxing, excercise, Men's Health, fitness

Kids are stress-inducing.

Unfortunately, they’re also time-consuming, which makes it difficult to alleviate your stress, and stay healthy, via the time-tested method of exercise. If you don’t have time, you probably aren’t going to bother shelling out for a gym membership you’ll rarely use. And good luck with trying to use that treadmill you bought during his nap; if there’s a louder piece of equipment this side of the drum-kit my in-laws bought my son, I haven’t come across it.

What’s a parent to do?!

Don’t fret; I have a solution! Like Rocky in Siberia (actually, it was filmed in Krasnogourbinsk, but come on), you have to work with what you’ve got. In this case, what you’ve got are kids.

Luckily, they’re even better than a Bowflex!

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Raising Sane: The Art of the Underreaction

23 Jan teach by example, copycat, parenting, dads, road rage, funny, fatherhood, kids, children, home, education, learning, behavior

Years ago, Mom and Buried and I learned a parenting lesson we’d never forget.

A woman and her son were walking around Fenway Park, the little boy happily toting a Red Sox balloon. All of a sudden, the balloon popped. The kid was startled by the noise and saddened that his balloon was gone, and we steeled ourselves for a meltdown.

But his quick-thinking mother defused the situation. She responded immediately with a wide smile and a big laugh, brightly exclaiming, “Your balloon popped! Who cares, right?” In no time, her son was laughing along with her. She’d thwarted his natural inclination towards getting upset by treating the whole thing as no big deal. When he saw that Mommy didn’t care, suddenly neither did he. Shit happens.

Even without kids of my own, I knew it was a brilliant move. Years later, with a two-year-old of our own, it seems just as brilliant, even more essential, and a lot harder than it looked.

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CES-capades: Number Part 2

10 Jan

Yesterday, I mentioned the trend towards combining technology with hands-on, physical components. Lenovo is using the term “phygital” to refer to their new tabletop tablet computer (see yesterday’s post for more info on the Horizon), and I ran into a handful of other products that aim to do the same thing with smart phones and tablets.

The one making the biggest – ahem – splash? The iPotty.

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Spoiler Alert

3 Jan The Incredibles, Pixar, mediocrity, inclusion, winners, losers, parenting, spoiled kids, fatherhood, dads, toddlers,

Sometimes I worry that I love my son too much.

I was thinking about that this Christmas, when I saw the haul of toys he received from his parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and watched as he was indoctrinated into the Culture of More. It definitely made for a fun holiday – the joy of little kids can be contagious – but it also made me nervous.

There’s a reason we call it “spoiling.” Overindulgence breeds assholes.

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The Boy Who Cried Gibberish

18 Dec

A few people have mentioned to Mom and Buried and me that Detective Munch has a good vocabulary for a kid his age. I don’t disagree, I mean, I’ve got him speaking jive, singing Christmas (and Beastie Boys) songs, and telling people “See ya later, alligator!” He can say some solid stuff.

Of course, he’s only two, so his vocabulary isn’t that good. Plus, a lot of the things he says are barely recognizable as English, and are probably only decipherable by me and Mom and Buried, if at all. And that so-called good vocabulary gets a lot worse when he’s distraught.

When he’s upset, whether it’s because he’s being a brat or because he got a boo-boo, words go out the window. Which can make solving – or even identifying – the problem quite tricky.

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